Why Sharing is NOT Caring
And how being selfish can save the world
Right from the get-go, you’re implored to play well with others.
Share your toys. Give other kids a turn. Hop in the sandbox with a buncha little farts and “let Sally play with your Triceratops, Brendan!”
It’s a constant give and take. And if you don’t conform, you’ll likely be labeled as the nasty kid who doesn’t know how to act around other children.
There’s a lot of incentive for parents to groom their kids into little Share Bears, too. If they don’t, the kid gets left out. The parents get left out. And no one gets invited to playdates or parties. It’s a sad world for the selfish child.
Therefore, selfish tendencies must be destroyed — the only problem is that we’re destroying self-love right along with it.
The baby is indeed being thrown out with the bathwater.
Here’s why…
YOU MUST BE SELFISH TO THRIVE
Don’t get me wrong — sharing is caring.
But to what extent have we let that notion destroy our sense of self?
Think about it…
You’ve been taught to share EVERYTHING you own. Your toys. Your time. Your resources. Your attention. Your love. Your energy. There’s not a single thing you’re allowed to keep solely to yourself.
If you do, you’re selfish.
You don’t play well with others.
Heck, you don’t even care about others.
But what if we’re looking at this all wrong?
What if the child who wants to play by themselves feels better playing by themselves? What if they’re just trying to fill their own emotional cups before they get thrown in the sandbox with everyone else? Just because they like to play by themselves doesn’t necessarily make them selfish.
Eventually, we all seek out human connection and companionship, right?
So what’s the problem with letting our children naturally gravitate to others after they’ve learned how to self-regulate and enjoy their own company first?
The problem here is that you’ve never been given the space to truly love yourself. Every time you try, you’re told you’re being selfish.
But here’s the thing…
You have to be selfish.
You have to learn how to enjoy your own company.
You have to learn how to appreciate yourself… how to love yourself… how to savor the moments and experiences you enjoy in solitude.
Then (and only then) can you truly share those things with others.
The saying goes that you cannot pour from an empty cup — it’s an undeniable and inescapable truth. Therefore, if you want to share with others… doesn’t it stand to reason that your own cups should already have something in them?
Seems like common sense to me.
Sharing is caring — but only when the self is cared for first.
That’s not selfish… it’s necessary.
Halt right there!
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